6W2D 見到啡加埋......紅..

晴

星期日刻意zzz 耐d, 成10:30 到11:00先起身。唔知係天氣問題, 定係咩問題, 唔係zz 得太耐, 同埋晚晚都會好多dream。

起身之後整左d cheese 面包, 聽人講cheese 好, 就用我o係6月時日本買既cheese 放入oven 內夾d 面包食, 食左之後又唔記得食materna, 睇左一陣奧運就去zzz, o個時未到2:00pm

點知到起身之後, around 4:00-4:30pm 左右, 食左個橙, 好地地, 都唔知點解, 去到washroom 見到pad 上面有好深既啡, 呢次啡係比起之前3次深色, 仲要有d 紅色o係底, 因為有用pad , 佢已經吸哂喇, 但我見到有條紅色outline, 上面先係啡色, 唉, big pan, 呢次仲唔big pan?

星期日有咩婦產科醫生開門呀? 我知去廣華冇用, o係babykingdom 見得太多, 知道佢地唔會同你做咩野, 我只係想搵個人幫我照下, 睇下亞b 點樣, 最後搵左仁安, 佢地因為sunday 婦科唔o係度, 要call 佢地番來, 所以consultation fee 都已經要$1000, 我有咩辨法呢, 緊係比啦, 之後所有charges 都要加多60%, 不過master bill = consultation fee + ultrasound + 藥, 都係$1380, 比我expected 既少。

醫生問我standard o個d 問題, 之後照肚既ultrasound, 好在, 見到心跳, 同埋佢比埋我聽tim! 佢同TST我睇開既Dr Wong 一樣,都係話有20% 既人會出現呢d 情況, 而見到有心跳就唔知點樣有95% 冇問題。佢都好好, 照時比埋我聽個心跳聲, 可能令我開心d, 仲問老公聽唔聽到tim.

都係o個句, 冇肚痛, 冇持續, 冇大量, 都唔洗太擔心, 最後佢問我食唔食utrogestan, 佢唔prefer 塞藥, 覺得食到既, 點解要窒藥, 搞下面呢, 佢都唔prefer 用陰照ultrasound, 所以我都好thanks god o係呢一日用肚照見到d 心跳。佢仲話有d 人信utrogestan 可以幫到手, 有d 人就唔信, 我自己之前都睇過d info話if個b 唔得, 好少因為黃體素唔夠, 而utrgestan 其實只係幫keep 住個黃體素高d, 佢話又冇side effect, 叫我食早晚各一, 同埋唔洗一定bed rest, 就係唔好太彩勞就ok。我同佢講我已經take 緊annual off, 佢就冇再開假比我。

醫生話如果個size 同我既bingo 日期唔match, 即係個b grow 得lag behind, 加埋又啡/紅, 咁就要worry, thanks god 個size 都ok,好似話0.511cm, 好細....不過佢話normal 就好了.

本來plan 左番mama 度飲我覺得好有信心比到亞b nutrient 既魚側魚湯, 點知到5:00pm 幾時見到有呢d 野, 要即刻take taxi去仁安, 我唔想scare 奶奶老爺, 叫老公打番去話我嘔, 所以唔會番去食dinner, 奶奶好worry, 打番來叫我點點點, 我冇聽到個電話, 老公頂哂, 所以我o係仁安睇完之後就好想番去見下佢地。

一開門, 佢地兩個一齊對我笑, 我真係好唔忍心, 我同佢地講好對唔住, 要佢擔心, 奶奶話做女人一定會experience 呢d 野....佢地其實已經食左dinner, 為左我地番去, 要再多煮, 老爺為左我, 買左舊好大既斑, 好好食, 不過我唔敢食太多, 驚因為係深海既關係, 食太多會有heavy metal, 不過我知道佢地咁錫我, 我仲大壓力, 我明....我明佢地咁錫我唔係剩係因為亞b, 但係我真係唔想佢地有失望既一日。佢地努力辛苦一大世, 我唔想佢地有任何唔開心。

我番到自己屋企, zz 前想打比亞媽, 佢仲未番到屋企, 之後咪同細佬傾, 我傾到喊。呢次我估係我bingo之後1st 喊。對住佢, 我喊得出, 反而對住老公就喊唔出, 亦都唔敢喊。細佬話我由細到大都係咁, 樣樣野以為過唔到, 最後咪過到, 我知, 我知道我以前係咁, 但係今次既壓力真係一d 都唔細, 係人命一條, 佢話有咩事都好, 都唔會blame 我, 因為佢唔會為一舊完全唔知咩形狀, 咩大小, 係男係女既物體而唔開心, 佢只會worry 一個生"out out" 既人, 即係我, 我好touched, 我係唔係好自私? 我聽到咁樣我個心定好多, 我係唔係一個唔會去bear responsibility 既人? 點解我上次o係TST dr wong 度聽到佢話first 12 W 個b 有事大多數唔關個亞媽事時, 個心又係定好多呢? 係唔係我想推卸責任呢?

出到去, 見到老公, 佢話我應該知道佢想同我講既係咩, 我知, 但我個心仲係好唔定!

呢一日, lunch 都冇食, dinner 就食兩bowl rice, 係十殼既, 冬姑豬肉餅+ 露筍炒斑塊, 湯就唔敢飲, 去左亞媽度飲魚側魚湯, 希望夠nutrients 啦!

順順利利既人生唔係必然, 要學識成長, 積極面對! 我好想我學懂!!!